So Fresh. So Clean. So Pampered. So Metro.

Monday. Nobody likes them. Not even Garfield. So I'm going to try and make your day a little bit better with a little story about scissors, nail clippings, and foam. Was that enough to hook you in? Good. Let's get to it.

Today's suggestions came from my lovely girlfriend Christina, and it was to stop looking like a hippy hobo and get myself a nice haircut. Haircuts to me are weird, because I have never seen any point in spending more than $15 bucks for one. That limits my options to Great Clips, the barbershop in Harlem (which was actually pretty awesome and looked good), or buying a buzzer and doing it myself. And I have done it myself quite a bit. Here is a pic of me back in college mid cut:



Anyway, Christina wanted me to get a nice looking cut so she can show me off around town.
And as it turned out, Groupon was having a deal on a Full Service cut at John Allan's. If you don't use Groupon, use it. It rocks and has deals for a lot of cities. And if you are here in New York, and are a male, check out John Allan's. This place was NUTS. Everything you would ever want in a haircut place, and so much more. A year long membership here will set you back 720 bones. That seems like a lot huh? Well check out what you get. Unlimited haircuts, shampoos, shoe shines, billiards (they had a pool table IN the shop!), and access to their bar. That's right. A bar. They have a fully stocked bar. You could go to your barbershop everyday for happy hour if you wanted and get whatever you want. Mimosas or bloody marys in the morning? Sure why not. Shot of whisky after a long day? You got it boss. This is a country club for hair.




So this deal that Christina got for me worked for a Full Service
cut, which included a hair wash, a hot towel on the face, a cut, a manicure, and a shoe shine. As I stated earlier, I'm not a big fan of these added luxuries, but when it comes with the deal, you better believe that I'm going to use them, except the shoe shine, because I mistakenly
wore my Vans. Let me walk you through how this whole process went down. When I got there, they took my coat and put me in an apron thing and brought me an ice water. Why thank you hostess. Then it was off to the wash, where I got shampoo AND conditioner. I can't remember the last time I used both. My hair felt so soft, and I didn't even have to use my own hands. Then it was off to the recliner to get a warm towel on the dome and a neck massage. Frankie called. He said Relax.




How could this experience get better? How about moving to the super plush chair for a double team action of haircut manicure. Priscilla took care of the cutting, and I didn't catch the name of the hand lady. But they came at me from all angles! Left hand in
hot water. Head turned right to get around the ear. Right hand buffed. Look down for me. Okay. Okay. Yea. I even had enough time to sip on a coffee (though I clearly asked for JUST sugar because I'm lactose intolerant and the dude put foam in it. I took it as an attack on my life). Before I knew it, I was clean cut and hangnail free. Ahhhhhh. Frankie you were right.


All I can say is if I ever have 720 bucks at my disposal that I have absolutely no idea what to spend on, I'm signing up at John Allan's. I'll get a trim everyday while I sip my whisky on the rocks, and talk about my awesome performing portfolio or my dividends or something like that. Or I'll talk about how the Broncos beat the Bengals in a miracle finish today. Oh yea. Undefeated so far. Take that Carson Palmer.



I got some gooooood stuff planned this week that will probably cause me a lot of embarrassment, public shame, and blisters, so stay tuned in. Have a good day friends. Send in your suggestions. Donate if you can. Listen to Frankie. Is that a Davy Crockett Jesus hat Frankie? Nice work.