Did I Just Faint? I Think I Fainted

Gather around the fireplace friends. Grab your blanket, glass of wine, and your tissues, because this is the beginning of back to back days of feel good stories. But let's take one day at a time. Today's suggestion was a kind of last minute addition to the schedule. It came from my good friend Casey B. in San Francisco, who forwarded me a very interesting email a coupe days ago. A person at Casey's job has a friend here in New York who was looking for a little help. The email said:

A friend within our industry, Jean-Paul, has a young boy, Alex, who is 4 years old and was diagnosed with leukemia in April. He will be undergoing a life-saving transplant in the beginning of October. He really needs to have blood and platelets on hand for the days ahead of and the months following the transplant. In the past, he has had to wait for platelets since there are so few available. I am hoping that you would be so kind and generous to donate your blood/platelets to Alex. The transplant will take place at Sloan-Kettering the week of 9/28/2009. Alex will be in the hospital for 2 months following the transplant (through the end of November).

How could I not help out, right? These kinds of stories are really hard for me to swallow sometimes because someone so young is facing such tremendous hardships. I do not even know this young guy, but I feel it's something you have to do if you can (If anyone else reading this in NY can give blood for this kid, let me know I'll tell you where to give at). I felt as though giving blood was the least I could do, even though every aspect of giving blood scared me. Let's just say that there are few things that scare more in life than needles and blood, and when those two come together, it's like a perfect storm of scary, except Mark Wahlberg is nowhere to be found. This is why, until today, I had NEVER given blood before. Never. So much fear. But sometimes in life, you just have to face the fear. Ride the wave. Jump the tiger. I don't think that last one is a saying.

After a hearty breakfast 2 hours before my appointment (recommended) and two glasses of water (own recommendation), I headed off to the hospital. A quick side story here. Sandra was going to come along with me for the documentary, but as it turns out, hospitals don't like video cameras. In fact, if you bring one in and/or video ANYTHING around a hospital, they will throw you in the window-less room in the basement of the hospital for an hour. Seriously. Long story short, they didn't quite understand that she was just making a documentary and not video-taping for some giant conspiracy project. And she didn't get any footage. Yowza.

So I was on my own for this adventure, just me, the nurses, and 6 pages of very personal questionnaires. Seriously have I done intravenous drugs or slept with someone who has taken intravenous drugs in the last month? Hell no! I don't think if there was a person who marked yes in this type of category, giving blood would be their top priority for the day. It's actually probably the opposite of what they want: stuff coming out of their veins. Anyway, I digress.

After filling out this pile of work and getting my finger poked for a blood sample (it really hurt), I headed back to the donor room. Now looking at the place initially, it looked pretty awesome. Nice big comfy chairs, free snacks, and your own television. Sounded fun, until I remembered the whole blood thing. I met nurse Karen who set me all up and walked me through how it was going to work. She said she gets a lot of newbies, and it will be easy breezy. The key is to not think about it too much. And don't faint. After the talk, she was ready to start, and I got ready for the 'little pinch and slight burning' I was about to feel on my arm. Ready. Go! It was in and before I knew it blood was shooting out my vein like there was no tomorrow. And since this kind of made me sick to my stomach to see, I kept my attention on SportsCenter.

While I was giving, there was an older lady across from me also giving blood. I could tell she was quite nervous as well, because ANY time the machine she was hooked up to beeped, clicked, or even hummed, she would yell out to the nurse 'Ah! It just beeped! Is it broken?!?! Am I going to be okay?!?!'. Just a bit of nervous tension, but kept me entertained till my bag 'o blood was full. Almost over Patrick. Karen came by and began the shut down phase. Clamp the hose, weigh the bag, take testing samples, then out with the needle. I was all good until that needle came out, then all of a sudden vision started shrinking and i felt like I was floating. The last thing I remember was saying something like, 'I feel light hea.....'. I was out. Fainted. In another world. For the life of me I cannot remember the dreams I had, but I felt like I was out for a year. Then all of a sudden, I heard this voice muttering my name. It sounded like it was from heaven. God? I heard it again. Hello? Then boom. Back to the hospital with two nurses standing over me saying my name with the crazy old lady yelling from across the room, 'Is he okay?!?! Did he die?!?! Ah! My machine just hummed!!' It took me a second to figure out where I was and what was going on, and then realizing, wait, did I just faint? Yes indeed. I did. The lovely nurses gave me an ice pack and started giving me juice to bring myself back to it. After about 2 minutes I felt fine again, but normal protocol is you have to keep someone for 45 minutes if they faint, just in case. Once again, thank goodness for SportsCenter.

After my waiting time and 4 checks of my pulse, Karen let me out into the world. I did it. I was less in blood but more in moral. I felt on top of the world. I felt about a pound lighter. Success. My heart truly goes out to Alex and his family, and I hope that this small amount of blood will be helpful over your entire process. I will be thinking about you often, and I will keep you in my prayers for your health. Thank you Casey for a great suggestion.

Today I start my job! It's an internship, but it is a start. I am really excited, so will let you know how it goes. I have one request of you. Start conversations with your family, coworkers, friends, worst enemy, or strangers about this blog, and come up with a couple suggestions and send them in. It will help get the word out there, and brain-storming is always fun. Thanks everyone. Have a great day.

The Naked Cowboy Is From Ohio (Part II)

As we left off last chapter, I was struggling through trying to find people from every state. I mean Alaska and Hawaii, its going to be tough to find someone from there right? Well that is 50% right (glass half full people). Out of nowhere, after I had put my sign down for a few minutes, a big guy came up to me and said, "hey you probably don't have someone from Alaska, right?" No, no I don't. He even pulled out his ID for verification, but I couldn't read it because it was in Eskimoian. Haha no I'm just kidding. I can read Eskimoian. He was legitimate. Here in my presence, a man from the land of Palin (DEATH PANELS). Of course my man wanted to look like an Eskimo, so he put on his hoodie and acted cold (stereotypes!).

After this, I went to meet my friend Kyle who happened to be walking through Times Square. We chatted for a few minutes before he headed to his meeting, so I took the time to wander a little bit. On my wander, I got ambushed by someone looking for something (damn! a trick out of my own book). This guy was selling tickets to a comedy club around town. Now I am no sucker, and usually wouldn't have gone for this, but we made a deal. You see, this fine fellow was from Australia. I know what your thinking. An Australian? In New York? No, folks, it wasn't the great Crocodile Dundee. If only....anyway we made a deal that I would buy his tickets if he gave me his best kangaroo. My roommate Max would be proud of me because he is currently reading Trump's book Art of the Deal. How 'bout that deal Max? He was a really nice guy and I think we both got what we needed.

The rest of the day was amazing, just talking and meeting with people. Everyone had their own little story, so I will try and give you a quick recap of some of my favorites. There was the lady from Manitoba, Canada who said she froze to death each winter up there (move south!). There was the older gentleman from Sweden who lived on a lake and loved to fish. He had great form. There were two different sets of three friends. The first were from the Dominican Republic who symbolized their country by yelling at each other. You know, because "everyone gets pissed at each other there". Nice. The other group were from Minnesota, Illinois, and Massachusetts who symbolized their home by being cold, flat, and the geographical hook of the state, respectively. There were the two friends from the UK, one from London and the other Wales, who showed their hometown pride by showing off the time (greenwich time) and their vocal chords. And there was a lady from Ghana who symbolized her home by being on the phone.....??? Can someone verify that at all? Does that have something to do with Ghana?

And finally, two of my favorite photo stories. The first was a couple where the gentleman was from New Jersey and the lady was from Russia. Where did you two meet? Online...? Anyway, New Jersey was easy to symbolize because of the smell (it stinks), but Russia was a little harder. How do you represent vodka? Or Stalin? Finally, she settled on a dancer, because they have great dancers right? Oh goodness, you two are going to produce awesome children.

Then, just before I was about to wrap it up for a day, a gentleman came up to me and asked what this whole thing was for. I explained what it was, then our conversation went something like this:

me: what state are you from?

guy: I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records.

me: you know that's not a state right?

guy: (pause) it's a state of mind.

Well played sir. This guy was DJ Green Arrow (he was given this name by Chuck D of Public Enemy), who holds the record for longest freestyle rap. He did freestyle for 10 HOURS. Schwaa? Believe it. And next year he is going to try for 48 straight hours. What is he going to do when he has to make bathroom? Anyway, I took a photo of him in this thug glory, we talked a little bit more, then he left hurriedly. I hope our paths cross again Green.

As it started getting to the late afternoon, I realized that I was not going to be able to get all 50 states. No not even close. But maybe what I got was a lot better. I got a great chance to meet a lot of people from all different walks of life who had a chance to express what their home means to them. Everyone I talked to smiled and enjoyed the photos, and everyone gave me a little glimpse into their lives, and to me, that alone was well worth it all. It is amazing how we are all different people from different places, yet we are all so the same. If only we could all remember that more often maybe the world would be a better place (insert cheesy television commercial here). When it was all said and done, I met someone from: Wisconsin, New York, Kentucky, Ohio, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Missouri, Maryland, California, Nebraska, Washington, Oregon, North Carolina, Texas, South Carolina (the horse), North Dakota, Alaska, Connecticut, Minnesota, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Colorado, Maine, Indiana, Honduras, Canada, Sweden, Dominican Republic, Australia, Ireland, Turkey, Ghana, and Russia. Not bad eh?

Remember, tell you friends about the blog. Get them to come up with suggestions and send them in. Tomorrow morning's story will be full of dreams, juice, needles, and um-ber-ellas. Stay tuned friends. Take care.

The Naked Cowboy Is From Ohio (Part I)

Good day lady and gentleman and welcome to yet another installment of Make My Day. I just want to start by saying that 74% is the new 100% (I'll explain later), and that I need more suggestions (send some in)! Today's adventure came to us from Jarod in D.C., and was actually the top vote getter in this week's poll. My mission was to try and take a photo/meet someone from every state in a day. This idea, like many of the suggestions I get, seem like it will be a piece of cake to pull of, but once I get into it, I realize oh boy, this is hard (twss). And as I went through the day, I realized that it was not only going to be about trying to get all the states, but trying to get a bunch of different countries as well. Melting pot baby.

Luckily New York is the perfect place to try and make this happen because there are ALWAYS tourists here, especially in Times Square. This is where I set up shop. Now the trick on getting people to help you out is make them realize that you are not some random dude who is trying to sell you crap or beg for money. You got to take a more personal approach. This may include running up to people demanding they help you or else. Or talking so loud that people overhear you and want to help. Or just hold up my trusty sign. I did all of the above.

In order to make the photos a little more fun, I asked some people to symbolize their state in

a pose or movement. Being from Colorado, I would make a mountain. Some people found this extremely difficult to boil their place of origin down to one thing. One Russian lady wondered how to do Stalin (too soon?). I started out in the middle of Times Square holding up my sign hoping that someone would come talk to me. It took a few minutes, but then I finally had my first couple

of people. A mother/daughter combo from Wisconsin and New York, and then a lady from Kentucky. Sweet, the South already representing. Off to a good start. The mother from WI had a tattoo of the state on her arm. Convenient for representation. The lady from Kentucky did what all people in Kentucky: ride a horse (or maybe she is saving a horse and riding..nevermind).

One thing I love about Times Square is that there is always something crazy going on, and today it was National Turkish Pride Day/something about ancient Greek stuff. This meant a whole lot of people dressed in

old school garb, much like the fellow dressed as an Greek person, but he was from Honduras. I got to meet a whole bunch of people dressed old school who were from all over. Looking good folks!

As I was walking around looking for people, a dude came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a documentary. I replied that I already was going to be in one, but he said another will be good too. This one was on world hunger, and they were looking for people to give their opinions. I have opinions. I gave them. It was really fun and all the guys were really nice. Plus, they were all from different states, so 4 more

checked off the list just like that.

When I got done with the movie, I searched out one fella that I really wanted to get my picture with. That's right. The Naked Cowboy. The dude spends all year in Times Square, and I heard he makes a million a year! For standing in underwear! Nice work guy. Anyway, so I found the young Cowboy milling around, and waited my turn for a picture. I had to wait because there were about 14,000 middle aged women gawking at him, waiting to grab his buttocks. As soon as I could, I got in and snapped a photo. I talked with him a minute, mainly because he couldn't understand what I was doing with my sign, but also found out he grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio. Midwestern man. Nice. Another one done.

Well it was starting to get on my third hour of searching, and while I was finding a good

amount of people, lots were repeat states that I already had, or were people who just blew me off because they thought I was crazy. Maybe a little. So I decided that it was time for drastic measures. Ambush people and make them tell me where they were fun. This worked....about a quarter of the time. I met some crabs from Maryland, and a some salmon from Oregon, and a hockey stick from Toronto. Awesome! I even got law enforcement involved, because I was feeling suspicious. I started talking with a

police officer from Connecticut, who for sure had the personality of a NY Cop (his poo poo did not stink), but he took a photo with me anyway, so thanks man (look at that serious face!). Then I ran into a horse officer, which for the life of me I don't understand why you need a horse officer in New York, but okay. The officer herself was from New York, but the horse was from South Carolina. Rocking. I'm counting that. That's a twofer. But while these people were nice, other people ran for the hills. Getting some of the states early was easy, but as the day was going on it was getting harder and harder to find people from states I didn't have who would actually talk with me. This was going to be a lot tougher than I thought.

Stay tuned for the second part of this story, either out later this afternoon or tomorrow morning. Again, please send in your suggestions! I am starting to run low and know that you all have funny imaginations. Thanks everyone.

Legitimate Employment!

Well I can finally say now that I have a real job. Not that blogging isn't a real job, but it's not a real job. So now I have completed the suggestion I gave to myself a little over a week ago after the guy yelled at me on the subway. Hooray!

The only bummer is that the position will start as a paid internship, but it is great because there is a lot of potential to grow in the company. They are fairly new, and have been expanding quite a bit over the last year, so if all goes to plan, I should be able to get a full time position sometime soon!

And to top it off, last night we went to one of the comedy shows that we always go to, the one Horatio said he would be in, and we laughed our booty's off. Rob Riggle was even in the show. IN THE FACE! IN THE FACE! So all and all, a good night, except for maybe having gotten food poisoning? Jury is still out, but Christina and I have been feeling lousy since eating those falafel. Ehhh....

This weekend I was supposed to do two things for the blog, and then for various reasons they did not happen. Sorry about that, but I am back at it today and will bring you a full post tomorrow morning. Have a good Monday.

I Read French At A Pre-School Level

Yet another glorious day out here in New York City. The air was crisp, the sun was shining, and embarrassment was in full force. Why you ask? Today I did a little public dramatic reading. Originally, I was just going to just read the Shakespeare passage from Henry V aloud somewhere over and over again, but then I thought it would be fun to read pretty much anything aloud in public. So I did.

I headed to Union Square with my roommate Max, my trusty camera, and a sign that begged for literature. On such a perfect day, there were tons of people out soaking up the sun and sights. It took a little time to find the perfect spot due to the fact that a band AND drum circle were already filling the air with sounds, so I waited for the right opening to proclaim my voice upon the masses. I found it under the giant bronze statue of Washington. Shop set up.

Now I knew I was going to read Henry V, but I didn't want it to be the first one, so I sent Max undercover to watch for a while, then deliver the speech at the right time when people were already giving me things to read. But it took a little bit, as there was the normal weird looks and laughs that looked like "what the hell is that guy doing?" type of faces. Finally, I had my first couple of takers. They were medical students who wanted me to read from one of their medical textbooks, but I knew from the giggles I was not going to be reading anything nice. No, I read, aloud, to all the people sitting around, about gastritis and herpes. Nothing gets people's attention like yelling herpes out loud a couple of times. Thanks for that friends. But after the first read, it was down hill from there, as a lot of people wanted a piece. I even ran into an old friend Ricardo who happened to be walking by.

Next up was a gentleman wearing sunglasses that VERY closely resembled the eyewear of Lavar Burton character from Star Trek, who wanted me to read a postcard ad he found on the ground about food. It was okay, but his sunglasses stole the show. No worries, because as soon as he was done, I met two Belgium tourists who wanted me to read from their New York City travel book. No problem, except for one thing.....THE BOOK WAS IN FRENCH! I took spanish in high school and college, so I have no clue where to even begin with the french accents and such, and now I find myself about to have to read French aloud. Good thing Max got this on tape:

When I got done, I said I think I nailed it! and the girls, politely, said I did not understand ONE word you said. Whatever, I know I said "New York City" correctly. You can't take that away from me. Thanks, though, girls. That was funny. And this led me to my next big moment....Henry V. It was time. I was scared but prepared (side note: I was originally going to memorize this bad boy, but it was waaaay to hard to do. Maybe I'll try again sometime), so I let it rip. Thank goodness there were enough people around laughing that it made my bumbling of old English not so bad. Billy S. would be so sad to know that what he wrote was performed so poorly...or greatly? Is greatly a word? I am wordly. Anyway, check out the video.

Soon the people kept on coming, daring me to read whatever they had aloud, trying to see if I wouldn't read it, but I did. Of course I will read your Wendy's cup man. I would love to read from your homo-erotic novel lady. Anything and everything was read. I even read from a script of a movie. That's right. Nine Run Run (like 9-1-1). The guys hanging out next to me were film students, and one of them (who was from England) was telling me about the movie he is making next about a psycho-killer chick who murders all her friends and feels no remorse. Gruesome. But anyway, he had me read a bit of the script aloud. I told him I would be in the movie need be. He declined. Bummer.

After a couple hours outside in the direct sun, I knew it was probably time to call it a day. I was pretty sure I might have gotten a sunburn on my forehead (I did) and a little dehydrated (I did). But mission complete: public reading done. Thanks Marcos for the suggestion. You rock brotha. Don't forget to vote on the poll, and send in your suggestions! Thanks friends. Have a good weekend.

One quick addition. So in the video you could probably hear the drum circle going on. They were really good, and even got a lot of people to dance with them, including this one fellow in the video, who furthers the stereotype that white men cannot dance. Rhythm my man, rhythm.

I got pwned

It is true, but not the entire day, just the latter half. The first part of the day was great. I had a job interview that went really well! It starts as a paid internship position, but has huge potential to grow into a full-time job. I am really excited about it, and the best part is that the work hours are set up to allow time to still have time for the blog. So there we go, things are starting to come together a bit.

Today's suggestion was on that was voted on last week, to learn to play chess and then try to play with a Jewish man for a bonus point. Why a Jewish man? I really don't know, but I'll play by the rules. One quick side note on the poll from last week. After doing some research and getting advice from friends, it turns out that two of the popular vote-getters were illegal to do, those being the meter fairy, and swimming in the Hudson. I cannot believe it's illegal to swim in the Hudson! The only time you are allowed to is during a officially sanctioned race. Weak sauce, New York. So with those scratched off the list, I had to regroup a little bit. And as it was an unbelievably beautiful day here in New York City, I did what any smart, unemployed person would do: hit the parks. That is right, I headed back to Washington Square Park today, a place I spent many hours in just a few nights earlier during the homeless adventure. I figured the best way to learn about chess is from the people who know it best and make money doing it: the hustlers. Now I am not the only one who has always wanted to play chess with all the dudes who sit in the park all day and play chess, right? It's one of those stereotypical images of NYC, and I wanted in. Wash Sq. Park is home to tons of these dudes, so it was a dream come true, until I actually started playing.

I walked up and felt a bit nervous, but didn't let it show. Confidence is key in board games. I acted like I belonged there, like I knew what to do, but I quickly gave away that I didn't know anythinA. after I sat down with a guy to play and he started asking me questions and rattling off rules. All I could stutter was, "uhhh, I have no idea what I am doing here". Way to go Patrick. Nice show of confidence. But it turned out okay, because Tyrone, the guy I was playing, said he would teach me as best as he could.....for a price. Hustlers, man. Oh well, I knew this would probably happen, so I threw down 10 bucks and said give me what you got. It started with Tyrone and I playing one game, just so he could "see what I was working with". Two moves into the game, he muttered, "oh lordy we got a lot of work to do with you". Blarg. After he had me in checkmate in 7 moves, he started giving me the lowdown on chess. Three things you have to do, he said, were to develop pieces, control the center, and initiate an attack. I followed this up by asking what the hell that meant. So we walked through it, did a couple of simulation games, I tried to take notes, and he tried to not get frustrated. Sorry Tyrone. But after a little I was starting to pick up a couple things. Not much, but I knew that I needed to castle and expose the weakness on the black squares, I think.

While he was teaching me, I started asking him questions about the life as a street chess player. He said he comes out every day to play, and makes a little bit of money, not enough to live on, but that's why he has got Social Security. He was telling me, too, that most of the guys out there are friends, but pretty territorial about 'clients', and who plays with who. Just as he was telling me this, one guy across the way started SCREAMING at another player for encroaching on his turf. It was awkward. But I did wonder what these guys do in the winter when it's terrible weather outside? Migrate south to Florida?

So with my $10 lesson done, I was going to get ready to find someone to play, when the hustler next to me busted out a backgammon set. Oh no. Backgammon is my weakness. I love it to death and play it all the time, so I thought, hey, I play a lot, and am pretty good, I'm going to take him on and try to win back the $10 bucks I spent on my lesson. This will work right? WRONG. Lesson #1: HUSTLERS ARE HUSTLERS FOR A REASON! LaMont killed me. He ripped me into two. I broke the rule. We played for about an hour, and I found myself down 20 bucks. Now not only was it embarrassing losing in front of everyone, but it was even more embarrassing when I had go find a bank to get money to pay the man! Not a good day to gamble friends.

So feeling very deflated, I didn't even want to try and play another dude, because knowing my skills, I was going to get pwned again. So rather than putting myself in a position to get rocked....again...I decided to just enjoy the afternoon and watch some good ol' New York streetball. Streetball here is so much fun to watch because the guys are really good, and they get so competitive. Someone is always angry, no matter what. I felt in solidarity with their anger, and it actually made me feel better. Now if only I had my money back.

Friday! We made it. And it is going to be a good weekend. I can feel it. The poll closes on Sunday morning, so make sure you vote! And send in your suggestions for next week. Anyone want to play some chess?

Patrick Tries For a Job

That right friends. Today's suggestion came from myself a week ago when I vowed to find employment, and today it may happen. I have a high potential job interview this morning, and am really excited about it. So today there will not be a story, only an update on what happens. Also, not sleeping at all while on the street for the night kind of took it out of me, and I could only muster the energy to grocery shop. But we had delicious red pesto pasta last night, so not all was lost.

So even though there won't be a full story, I thought I would add one little part of the story yesterday. While we were talking with Horatio Sanz, and telling him we were planning on staying on the street, his friend Kevin mentioned that we should sleep under the Manhattan Bridge because there are a lot of other homeless people that congregate there. There was a kind of long, awkward silence with me looking a bit skeptical, when Horatio piped in and said, "well wait, you DON'T want to get stabbed tonight right?" No, no we certainly didn't, so Kevin quickly retracted his suggestion. Good times.

Vote on the poll for next week. Send in your suggestions. Work for the weekend.

Homeless With Horatio

What a night. What a night. I don't even know where to begin with this one, so I guess I shall begin at the beginning. Today's suggestion was to be homeless for a night, living out on the streets. Quick note here. There is NO WAY that in one night I could experience what it is like to be truly homeless. So this really was more about spending a night on the street under the stars (also another suggestion). I have had a couple people write in about doing this, so I figured it was something I should try out, even though I was pretty nervous about it. I mean it's New York City. Sleeping on the streets? Risky, with a possibility of getting arrested. So I thought it best, for my safety and an increased level of fun, to have my roommate John come along with me for the adventure. He obliged. My thought about this was to try and make it as true as possible. This meant being out from 8pm till 8am, no subway card, only a couple of bucks each, and an ID, you know, just in case our bodies were found somewhere and we needed to be identified. Side note, I looked up homicide rates around here, and they are surprisingly low this year. Way to go people of the boroughs.

We brought along a bag to carry our extra jacket, blanket, and trash bag in case is rained.

Luckily, it never did. Since we really didn't have a game plan, we just started wandering aimlessly down streets in our neck of the woods. It made for a great little sightseeing adventure, as well as checking out good spots to sleep. We also came upon a pretty awesome mural on the side of a wall. Check it out.

After an hour or so, we headed to Washington Square Park in the West Village, because there is always something going on there. Here we took a spot on a bench and lounged, killing time. Not five minutes after we sat down, a couple of nice gentlemen sit next to us, and I did a double take, as I realized one of the guys was Saturday Night Live Alum Horatio Sanz. Too Sexy! Too Sexy! We started chatting with him for a few minutes, because we often see him at a comedy club around town here, and were wondering when he would be in the show again (this weekend! I'll be there). We told him about what he was doing and said, "well, I'll give you a quarter my man!". Amazing. Horatio Sanz gave me a quarter.

After bidding farewell to our new famous friend, we headed down the park to warm our bellies in a way that anyone would do on a night on the streets: with a bit of the booze. Not much, but

something to get the night going. After a bit more time in the park, the first logistical question of the night pooped, i mean popped up. Where are we going to go to the bathroom? As we were in the bar district, we thought we would mosey into an establishment, use their facilities, and leave. So we headed into one and did our business. Well while I was going, John started talking to the bartender about what we were doing, and he said "Wow. I was homeless for about a month man. It's rough. Here, have a free drink". Schwaaa? Now we are talking. He told us the best place to sleep was the West Side Park. You rock Dylan. He hooked us up with a couple of drinks....fo free! Not only was this awesome, but I randomly ran into two high school classmates Rob and Paul who I hadn't seen

in years. In a city of 8 million people, what are the odds of running into two high school friends at a bar in the West Village at midnight on a Tuesday? Rob even gave us a drink as well. Thanks amigo.

Well at this point, we were only 5 hours into our 12 hour journey and not wanting to sleep, so we thought we would just kick it on the street for while, sitting on the curb. Here, we met our new friends. Mike and Gabi. One was very normal and awesome, the other very not normal and awesome. Mike was a homeless alcoholic drug addict who sat next to us for a bit. He was a good guy, but hard to carry on conversation with, as he was messed up out of his mind. But he told me about growing up in Michigan, his love for Bud Light, and his love for being homeless. He said he wouldn't change a thing in his life, and then he invited us to sleep where he sleeps, near a church, with a giant group of homeless people. We thanked him for the offer, but politely declined. Then all of a sudden, Mike got up and left, just saying I got to go. Good luck Mike. Then we met Gabi, at Brazilian (this is about the 1,000 Brazilian I have met in the last 3 weeks) who is interning here but trying to get a full time job and become a resident. We talked relationships (she has a 4 year boyfriend in Brazil), family, jobs, American culture, and New York. Here is John and Gabi. She was a great sidewalk companion for us, and made our night that much more enjoyable. Let's hang out again Gabi!

After Gabi took off, we decided to wander a bit more and to start searching for a sleeping spot, as it was about 2AM. We took Dylan's advice and headed west to the highway. After getting a bit lost, we finally found the West Side Park. This long, narrow park stretches along the Hudson River, and provides ample space for sleeping. One problem. It was gated off. So we did what anyone who needed a place to crash would do. Hop it. We found the best spot to sleep right away, tucked back in the dark under a tree where no one would bother us. We set up camp and prepared to sleep, and then....sprinklers. Right on us. We quickly packed up our stuff and walked out just in time to see the police officer come riding up. We were trespassing. Oh no. This was the end of the line for us, until he realized some other kids had gotten into the gated playground near us. As they were more of a liability, he told us to leave and he went off the find the kids. Close call there, but now we have to start our sleeping search over.

We were a bit angry and concerned, walking down the highway, when we realized that maybe

the highway was the best place to sleep. No, not IN the rode, but in the median. Think about it, no one would come over, there were bushes, and cars don't crash into the median very often. So we darted across the road into the median and set up shop in between a little row of bushes on the gravel ground. Home for the night. It was 3:45am.

Surprisingly, I slept well for the 3 hours I was asleep, except for the fact that I got about 19 mosquito bites on my hands, face, and lower back. And no one bothered us. No police, no other homeless people, and no psycho killers. We made it through the night! After gathering our belongings, we started trek home, as John had to be at work by 8:30. I feel for you dude. You are a champion.

So all in all, it was a tough night, but we had a lot of great stories and met a lot of wonderful people. Being homeless is really difficult, and I am thankful that I am able to have a place to sleep at night. It is something I hope I never do again, but if I do, I know the best place to sleep!

Please vote for what I should do next week. The poll is up. Also, send in suggestions for next week's poll. Happy Hump Day Friends.

Holy Guacamole

Alright Friends, here is the deal. I promise a new post by sometime late this morning. The reason it is a bit on delay today is because I spent the night homeless, and JUST got back to the apartment feeling a bit tired. But what a crazy night it was. Check in a little later to read the full story. In the mean time, vote for what I should do next week on the poll, and send in more suggestions for next week! Good morning sunshine.

It's the New Year?

Wall Street. A place of money, bailouts, and bad Donald Trump hair. Today's suggestion took me to the heart of New York's financial center. Now this adventure was a kind of modified adventure of sorts, as the suggestion by Nora was to sit and give out free advice like in the PEANUTS comic strip where Charlie Brown would ask Lucy for advice, and she would in turn tell him to do really stupid things (like this blog). I'm all for giving bad advice, but I am wasn't sure New Yorkers would be as forgiving as Charlie Brown. So I need a place that allowed me to give awful advice, but at the same time, shield me from any revenge, repercussions, or attacks on the good ol' conscience. You guessed it. Wall Street.

I headed down there right around lunch time in order to maximize the amount of hungry suits 'starving for a meal of my newly founded wisdom?' (this was the runner-up for sign ideas). Thank goodness it was a beautiful day out, and that Sandra, the Brazilian chefe (maybe a bad translation?) documenting me, was along for the ride. We got off the subway and I headed right for my favorite spot: in front of the New York Stock Exchange. The hustle, the money, the well

tailored suits and over-gelled hair (bankers and 'The Outsiders' are the only ones who can pull this look off). It was perfect. People immediately were curious what I was going to do, because there is a lady following me with a camera filming my every move. I could tell the police got a bit worried, as all of a sudden about 6 cops with machine guns showed up.....yikes. But I pulled out my sign and began waiting takers. All of a sudden, everyone around pulled out their camera and began laughing and taking pictures of me. But everyone seemed a bit nervous of approaching such a strange fellow. One lady approached, but she only wanted to know where the big bull was at (down Broadway. Anything else? No. Okay. Bye). Finally, a father/daughter combo from Amsterdam came over asking "uhhh, what are you doing?!" So I explained and talked with them for a while, then a Brazilian fellow came up and began chatting too. All of a sudden we were laughing and joking, talking about Wall Street, life, embarrassment, and who speaks German. I don't.

With this interaction, people began feeling a bit more at ease, and wanted to chat or take a photo with me. Lots of giggling from girls, strange looks and grins from men, and plenty of

downright frightened stares. Some people tried to make it look like they weren't taking a photo of me, but I knew they were, so I waved at them. Every couple of minutes, someone new got up the courage to come talk to me. I tell you, the best people in the world are the people willing to talk with a guy who holds up a sign. A tip of the cap to you, friends. We would talk about anything. One fellow asked advice on life in general. I said learn to be happy with whatever situation you are in (And yes, I thought of that myself thank you). I don't have a job, but I'm trying to make the best of it. We talked about sports. I told people to invest in African water lillies. The best part was just meeting an eclectic group of people. Germans, Brazilians, Dutch, Americans. I

could tell it made their day to talk, and it made mine. Thanks friends. The one thing everyone said was "how do you not have a job? You would be a perfect employee!" Preaching to the choir people! I realized I should have brought resumes with me to hand out. One guy came up and stared at my sign for a couple minutes, so I asked if he needed advice or wanted to talk. He looked at me strangely, and said "this is not the place to get into my problems, plus I don't even know where to start" then wandered off down the street. Creepy. Seek real help my man!

The best person who came and talked to me was a strange man who wanted to know when the end of the world would be. But he didn't ask it in a joking way, he asked it in a very serious way, and when I said I wasn't too sure, he stared at me intently and said "well I guess you don't have all the answers huh?" But this guy was awesome. He had earplugs in, which for the life of me I could not understand why. Maybe he was going swimming later? I'm guessing he was Jewish because he wished me a happy Jewish New Year ( 5772 or something?) . He also predicted someday I'll "go to the top". I hope my man. I should have gotten his number and figured out if he plays chess....

I also spent a little time out in front of the Trump Building, where almost everyone coming in and out was in a expensive suit. This was a little different than the NYSE, because here, it was strictly Wall Street dudes and ladies who somehow still have their job after the meltdown. None of them wanted to talk, which maybe makes sense, because if they still have their jobs, they are probably doing something right. Or left. Or who knows. Wall Street baby!

But after a couple of hours, many photo moments, random conversations, and moral encouragement, I decided to pack it up. What a great day to meet people, even the police officers who were carrying loaded machine guns. As I was walking by them, they stopped me (Oh shit), but then began laughing, asking how it went, and if I have any advice for them (don't shoot!). They thought it was pretty awesome. So there you go. The strong arm of the law is on my side.

Tomorrow will probably bring a challenge I am scared poop-less about, a challenge I hope to pull of, and live to tell about it. Send in your suggestions because a new poll will be up Wednesday. Follow along on twitter. Tell your friends, and let me know if you need any advice!

Jimi Hendrix Live in D.C. (Part II)

If you haven't read the first part of this epic tale, make sure you read that before this one, as to get the full experience of our trip to D.C.

So we left off not knowing how the hell we were going to make some cash to get back to NYC. There were a lot of good ideas that were popping into my brain. Now good ideas don't always translate into good in reality. Case and point: I thought it would be cool to try and be a bathroom attendant in a restaurant. You know the guys who put soap in your hand and give you towels and gum after you do your business in a nicer restaurant? Yea they make some money in tips right? Well they might, but I never got my hands dirty enough to find out, because as soon as an employee saw what I was doing in their restaurant, they didn't think it was as good of an idea and I thought. They asked me to leave.

So then our next plan was maybe a bake sale. Everyone loves bake sales. One problem though. We don't have an oven and/or time to bake things. Thank the good man above for Safeway. We bought up some cookies and donuts for dirt cheap (thank you newly owned Safeway card), and headed down near all the museums and monuments on the D.C. Mall. There are a lot of people there right? Right.

Along our way there, Christina and I walked past a fine fellow sitting in a doorway with a couple of guitars on either side of him. This man looked homeless, and perhaps was a user of a few recreational drugs. The reason we stopped was because he yelled out "Hey! You have a guitar! I have two guitars! Let's play!" I can never turn down a fellow musician. He was nice, and even had a chair for me to sit in. He gave me one of his guitars and told me to play, except the guitar was so out of tune it sounded like cats fighting, yet he somehow thought it was great (the drugs talking). I asked him his name and he said, confidently, "Jimi Hendrix!" He lives! I couldn't help but begin laughing, and wondering about out safety at this point, so I thought it was time to get rolling. I feared taking a picture with him because he might steal my pinky. As we were packing up and starting to walk away, he yelled at me asking my name. I said Patrick, and he promptly returned with "Patrick? I can remember that! It's my sister's name!" I hope more than anything someday I meet a lady named Patrick Hendrix.

So we headed down to the Mall and set up shop with a sign that said

"Help Us With Our Social Experiment". We were on a bench near an ice cream guy, who seemed to get pissed we were encroaching on his space, because he left about 15 minutes after we got there. We figured this sign was a great way to draw people in, because what the hell is that? I played some guitar, and we sat back and waited. We ran into my old co-worker Mary and her friends Megan who hung out with us for a while. This ended up working to our advantage, as more people make us look less crazy. No more than 5 minutes after starting, this awesome dude Casey walked up and wanted to know what this was all about. We told him, he laughed, pulled out his wallet, and said he would donate, if he can get a photo with the girls, and it gets put on the site. Well played Casey. View it below. You were also the top donor of the day! Casey gave us $10. That, along with the $4 Mary and Megan gave us, put us 35% of the way there, in 5 minutes. We were on a roll.

But then it got a little slow. Awkward looks here, confused glances there. People seemed to be

terribly frightened by our sign and presence. Even if we said hello,

people acted as though they didn't speak English in order to avoid talking with us. Thanks people. But every once in a while, a couple people stopped and asked, and donated a couple bucks. We met a frisbee player, a group of friends from Boston, a guy on a bike that never got off his bike to talk with us, just rode around in circles, and a lady from Denmark here with a 50 person gospel choir. And she made ME sing in front of her. Not cool. I poorly pulled off the first verse and a half of Jeff Buckley's "Alleluia" We even had one little kid who donated a quarter, but did so by running to us from across the lawn, dropping it, and sprinting away. Are we scary looking? All very nice people, and after a change of locations a couple of times, we found ourselves about a dollar short. There was only one thing to do. Get wet.

I found a couple of fountains around D.C. and chose these as the way I will get my last dollar. I got some pretty strange looks from a couple of parents who were holding their kids while they threw coins into the fountain, and I was across from them, grabbing these coins out of the water. I have no shame, friends, and I needed a dollar, and I got it. We hit $40 bucks. Enough to get home. Success! We even had a few extra minutes to sightsee before heading out, so we walked down to the White House and talked with Obama a bit about Health Care. Did you know there are DEATH PANELS?!?! Oh goodness...

We got back to the bus station around 6:15, just in time to catch the 6:30 bus back to NYC. We got back to my apartment around midnight, an 18 hour adventure complete. I was so thankful Christina did it with me. I owe you girlie.

Thanks for reading and following along, and to all the people I met down in D.C. Send in more suggestions and tell your friends. Have a good Monday.

Jimi Hendrix Lives in D.C. (Part I)

I figured the best way to write this story would be a two part mega-tale of epic adventures, because there is a lot to tell about what went down yesterday. The suggestion came from Joe L., who wanted me to take a little trip. How would this trip work? Let me tell you.

My mission was to go to the Megabus pick-up at Penn Station and take a bus out of town. Megabus is awesome because you can go to so many places on the East Coast very cheaply. You can go as far South as D.C. and as far North as Toronto (with places like Philly, Baltimore, Boston, Rochester, and Syracuse in between). And it is waaay less creepy than Greyhound. Something about Greyhound just brings out the worst in people. Remember the dude who stabbed and decapitated the man sitting next you him? I don't want a part of that. I want free wifi on my bus and screaming children. Megabus has both. Now this ride was not going to be one I could pick the destination. No, the stipulation was to go to the pick-up, and get on the next bus to WHEREVER it goes, and in that city, try to earn enough money to buy tickets back to New York, and we can't come back till we do. Whoa Nelly, it just got hot in hrr.

As soon as I told Christina about this suggestion, she got super excited and wanted to do it with me. Perfect, because company on an adventure like this was much needed. So we planned it for a Saturday morning start so that she wouldn't miss work, and just in case we had to spend the night in the city, we could still get back before Monday. Yesterday was the day. The alarm went off at 6:00 am, and we were out the door with our bags packed by 7, off to the station. I have to admit I was a little nervous about pulling this one off. Luckily Christina was in full confidence.

So we get to the Megabus station and go ask the lady for a couple of tickets. Let me tell you how that conversation went:

me: Can I get two tickets for the next bus please? Where is it going?

lady: (looking very confused) What!? Umm...where do you want to go son?

me: I want to go wherever the next bus is going. Where is it going?

lady: You don't care where you're going?

me: No, I just need a couple of tickets. Are there still tickets?

lady: Uhh.....yea....so you want tickets for the next bus leaving here, no matter what?

me: Yes please. Two of them.

lady: Okay, two tickets to Washington D.C. That will be $40

me: Why thank you.

Even the lady behind me in line who was buying tickets looked at us like we were a bit crazy. Perhaps we are. We boarded the 8:00 bus to D.C. and, after a nappy nap, began trying to figure out how the hell we were going to earn at least $40 bucks to get back. We had help coming up with ideas. Perhaps try and be a busboy for a couple hours in a restaurant? Haircuts? Tailoring? Read Palms? Maybe, but could any of these work and actually earn money? Who knows. Just as we were re-assessing our plan, we pulled into our nation's capital. Suddenly this fun idea didn't seem as fun anymore. Christina and I found ourselves in a parking lot in D.C., not knowing if and when we are going to get back to New York that day, how we were going to make money, or where to even begin to wander to. Oh what a day it was going to be.......stay tuned for part II of this epic adventure, and why Jimi lives!

I am running low on some suggestions for next week, so send them in soon so they can be in the poll for next week! Follow along on twitter, and spread the word to your friends. Take care friends. Denver Broncos will be 2-0 after today. You heard it here first.